Thijs H. (28) from Brunssum said he killed at the behest of "the system. He was not allowed to talk about that, then atrocities would happen. He thought the world was in the hands of psychopaths, who spoke in code language.

Because H. felt little or no emotion, he thought he was a psychopath himself. He searched the Internet a lot and recognized himself in many elements, but never completely. Other people around him were psychopaths, though, and he wanted to learn their code language. "That was a Eureka moment when everything was clear. I didn't share that with others, I thought that was absolutely not to be talked about. So the system, as I saw it, was kept quiet," he told the court, outlining a life course of H. from cheerful toddler with defective, fine motor skills to high school student, who started fanatically in grammar school but ended up in high school. At 15 he smoked his first joint and during his studies he also regularly used a variety of hard drugs: coke, speed, xtc, dmt and psychedelic truffles. The last 2.5 years he smoked two joints a day.

South Africa
Before going to college, he spent several months in South Africa twice, was taken in by a host family in Port Elisabeth and was able to be completely himself. He taught children, kept young children off the streets, did much more than was expected of him. It was also nice not to have to meet the high expectations his parents had of their above-average intelligent son for a while. After returning in 2011, he first studied social work in Sittard, got his propaedeutic in one year and switched to cultural anthropology in Leiden. He moved to The Hague because he enjoyed surfing and wanted to be closer to the sea.

Burnout
Starting in the summer of 2018, things got progressively worse for Thijs H. He developed burnout symptoms. On the night of September 8, 2018, in his sister's house, he experienced psychotic symptoms: after using alcohol and cocaine, H. became convinced that his sister's boyfriend wanted to kill him. His parents sought help, but initially encountered waiting lists. In November, they received an emergency intake at Mondriaan. The therapist had a "non-fluffy feeling" about H.: His facial expressions and vague smiles did not match the severity of his problems.

Shortly thereafter, Thijs H. thought friends were going to kidnap and torture him. To get ahead of them, he cut his wrists and neck. Because he "wasn't going to die anyway," 11 hours later H. called 911 himself.

Uncle
According to H., the death of his favorite uncle in late April 2019 was the "trigger moment" for his second psychosis. He went back to his student residence in The Hague. His father picked him up there late at night on May 1 when a phone call revealed that H was not doing well at all.

In early May, through license plates and news reports, he was ordered to kill two people. Otherwise, his own family was killed. He went out with a knife from the kitchen of his apartment in The Hague on May 4, 2019, and stabbed 56-year-old Etsuko to death in the Scheveningse Bosjes. His phone was turned off: "I didn't want to be traced." He took the severed little finger with him as "evidence," but later threw it away because he found it too gruesome to have in his jacket pocket.

"It was going bad for me," he says in court. "It was fairly similar to how I feel now. Lousy." Still, he let his mother know via an app that he had "socialized" with his ex-girlfriend. A day later, his mother picked him up at the train station; he pulled a "demonic face" at her and hissed. They knocked on the door of mental health institution Mondriaan. The practitioner found him restless and verbose, but coherent in his answers.

Dog leash
On the evening of May 6, he was told via TV in code language that "it must be done again," or his mother would die. On the morning of May 7, he went to the Brunssummer heath with a knife from the knife block in his parents' kitchen. The first passerby he let pass. That one was a little younger. He had to gather "courage." Then he met 63-year-old Diny from Heerlen. To the police he declared, "That was a good opportunity, there was no one around, I stabbed her until she was dead. I was crying my eyes out inside." He went into the bushes for a while until he could look straight ahead again, and then went looking for a second victim. That became 68-year-old Frans from Hoensbroek, who was walking toward him. "I thought: this time it has to be," he said. H. let him pass and stabbed at him from behind. "He resisted. He hit me with the dog leash. I kept going. Until he was dead." As he left Brunssummer Heath, the license plates "cheered," H thought.

Banish
Once in jail, the examining psychiatrist saw a man who "made a relatively relaxed impression. Hard to fathom, though. 'Above average intelligence which allows him to disguise his problems well,' the psychiatrist noted. Someone who does his "best to hide the psychotic disruption, but it is there. A young man with an "ambivalent, sometimes conflicted relationship with mother" and ex-girlfriend.

The prosecution has doubts about the conclusion of the Pieter Baan Center (PBC) that H. was completely insane during his actions. This would mean that he would not receive a prison sentence, but only forced treatment. For the next of kin that would be very unsatisfactory, says counselor Phil Boonen after the hearing: "They also want a small piece of retribution." Attorney Sébas Diekstra of the relatives of The Hague Etsuko and of Diny's twin sister argues that conclusions of the PBC are "not sacred."

Exciting
The prosecution has questions about the "advisory role" of psychiatrist Jan Swinkels, who was called in at an early stage by H.'s lawyer Serge Weening. "At the end of July, right before you were going to be interrogated again and right before you went to the PBC. That evokes a crazy feeling for us." Thijs H.: "I think you guys are going very far. Surely you don't think that a man of the caliber of Jan Swinkels is helping me to have a psychosis. faking?" But why did he visit? "To advise his lawyer," says H. Weening: "My client doesn't know that at all. I'll come back to that later."

From an overheard telephone conversation with his mother, the day before Swinkels' visit, the prosecutor quotes how mother says to son, "Exciting tomorrow, isn't it, with Jan?" "What was exciting then?" H.: "No idea. I really don't know what you're talking about."